(Originally published on August 21, 2011; reprints previous original material published in this section)
By Mark So
Because this is the third part in a series of articles, please go to my blog if you have not read the previous articles: http://www.markso.wordpress.com.
Recently I talked about being aware and effectively stopping your “Money Leeches.” Should a money leech appear who is not part of your immediate family, I recommended that you only offer P50 and not a centavo more. Although it may seem harsh, this is the first real step in getting your money to stay with you. Also remember that if you think you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your immediate family instead.
Money Leeches in the Family
The question now is, what if your money leeches are from your immediate family? Like a brother or a sister or a parent? What then?
First, let me define what an “immediate family money leech” is. This is the brother or sister or parent that will habitually ask you for money. Most of the time, they even feel entitled to it because of your blood relationship.
This is where it gets very sensitive for a lot of people. Everybody has a different opinion on this, but this is my clear-cut view on it: not all members of your immediate family carry the same weight. You must prioritize within your immediate family whom you can be generous to first.
In my life, my first priority is my wife and children, then my parents and my siblings. With that in mind, I give 90 percent of my money to my wife and children first, the next five goes to me, and the remaining five percent goes to a special fund in case an immediate family member needs it. So should there be a money leech in my immediate family, the maximum amount of cash I give is only the five percent of whatever I have at the time. Depending on how much money you have right now, that can either be very little or very big, but the point is even if it concerns immediate family (outside of my wife and children) my cash generosity is budgeted, controlled and managed.
If you are single, I do not suggest offering 90 percent to your immediate family—unless you plan to never marry, budget it at five to 10 percent because of two reasons: 1) If you give more than that, you might not have a money leech now. But if they get used to it, you would have created one down the road; and 2) You need money for when you get married someday. If there was a major regret I had in my life, it was that I didn’t plan financially when the time came for me to marry the love of my life. Even though it worked out in the end, I could have planned it much better.
Make no mistake—my life’s wealth is meant for my immediate family. Everything I make and have is meant to be shared with them, and to give them a better life. But if I have a money leech problem and do not budget and control it, the money leech will most definitely bleed me dry financially. And if I might add, if you are married and a money leech is within the immediate family, it can destroy your marriage if you don’t handle it properly Trust me. I’ve seen it happen. This is why I urge you to understand what I am sharing. If nothing else, I want all of you to have a great and happy marriage.
Be Generous in the Right Way
Before you decide that I am a heartless scrooge, do remember that we are just talking about money leeches in the immediate family who habitually ask for money and even feel entitled to it. If they are not leeching you dry and they desperately need help and you can afford to do so, then give what you can.
If you know me well enough, you would know that I am a very generous person. And the reason why I wrote what I wrote is because I was once extremely generous with my money to anyone and everyone. I learned that being overly generous with money, especially if you do not know how to manage it, is extremely dangerous and is a clear recipe for money to run away from you.
Instead, what I learned to do and what I want you to learn to do is to be generous in kind. To explain this further, I will give you two assignments today.
Assignment 1: Read my past article, entitled “Business Reciprocity,” in http://www.markso.wordpress.com. Comment on either that article or this one. Complain to me about the problems you have in completing the assignments. Believe me, I will read every single one.
Assignment 2: Set a budget for your Family Leeches and stick to it. Create a script on how you will say it to them. You can e-mail it to me if you want: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Mark So is a businessman, investor and educator. He is the chairman and CEO of BusinessmakerAcademy—a business, finance and corporate training center. He is the founder and Chief Forex Trainer of Forex Club Asia, a trading club of Forex Traders across Asia. He is also the founder and chief trainer of the Philippine Franchise Institute, which specializes in training and growing existing Franchise businesses. A sought after speaker for business and investing, you may e-mail your comments and questions to email@example.com or call the office at (2) 687-4445/3416/4645 for a schedule of his seminars.
(All rights reserved. Copyright Manila Bulletin. May not be reproduced or copied without express written permission of the copyright holders.)